The Official Schmit Happens Coondog. Does your site have an official coondog mascot? Nope. Sure doesn't.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

HOT a list of (DIRTY) tag words to draw traffic to the site SEX

Let it never be said I am above being a complete whore. Here we go:

Sexy hot women having sexy sex with each other

Free porn

Free money

Obama the anti-christ

Why is my   ...

Top ten reasons for hating Snooki

Will the world really end in 2012?

Craig's List+free

Can jesus microwave a burrito


How to   ...

Get rich quick

Denzyl Washington

Really sexy children     (I know. But hey, the Internet is full of predators right? I'm fine with pedophiles stumbling upon this blog and staying for the completely awesome original content. But if you are a child predator, to follow me you have to announce yourself for what you are and/or cut off your genitals.)

Mayor Bloombito

Hurricane Irene


Anarchist cookbook





Flaming Hot Firemen  (Haha. PUN.)

Venus Williams


free typing games (I would not have suspected this one.)

When will ...



Male lesbians

(your name)

and I am done/bored/hungry. Feel free to comment and add more terms. I'm going to go wash the smell of whore off me.

BREAKING NEWS: Drunk man steals, destroys watermelon

(IOWA CITY, Iowa) – An Iowa City man stole a watermelon from a local grocery store and then viciously destroyed it by smashing it onto the pavement of a residential sidewalk this week, said witnesses.

Worse, the culprit is still on the lam.

Witnesses at the scene described the man as “an idiot,” and “extremely drunk.”

Indeed, the culprit said so himself in a private interview with Schmit Happens Blog.

“Yeah, I was very drunk,” said the man, who gave the interview on condition of anonymity due the obvious illegality of his actions.

According to the melon thief, he had been drinking steadily for several hours in various downtown Iowa City bars. Afterward, he went to the grocery store. He wasn’t sure why, but upon leaving the store, in a martini-fueled rage he grasped the melon and proceeded to make off with it, only to smash it on the pavement a few minutes later for, what he said was “no reason.”

“I don’t really remember much of it,” he said.

A friend of the man, who also wished to remain anonymous as he did not want to be associated with “such a complete jackass,” said the melon thief was indeed very drunk.

This leaves the question of what the city should do. Will melons in Iowa City ever be safe? Will this drunken melon-killer ever be caught?

Associates with this Blog, for it’s part, ate a piece of pizza, finished a Heineken beer and told the man, “You are a fool. A complete fool sir,” and then went to bed.

If caught the man faces charges of Shoplifting, Public Intoxication and Unnecessary Destruction of Produce.

Ian starts a blog

Oh yes, I have. What will I post?

Who knows.

Probably required assignments.

Very likely.

But perhaps other things too.

Perhaps funny pictures of kittens doing silly things, or home videos of myself inebriated and falling on my ass.

Oh yes, maybe.  Are you riveted yet?